Love Maker
by Fantastical Chaos
Summary: Sequel to Love Wrecker. To be controlled and kept on a leash, to be forced to become someone I was not - I put myself there. Now away from it all and able to look back and see everything for what it was, I did deserve it. Maybe love just isn't meant for me. Three-shot.
1. Part 1

**Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form own Vocaloid. Each character used belongs to the respective company that produced him/her; I merely borrowed them for non-profit entertainment purposes. The Hatsune Miku song Streaming Heart, of which this fanfic is based, belongs to DECO*27. Please give credit to him and check out the original song. It's amazing.** **Regardless, I do claim ownership to the cover art and words below. Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **"Why have love, when this is what becomes of it?"**

 **Every night I hear those words in my dreams. They are spoken harshly, as if I deserved the situation I was in. To be controlled and kept on a leash, to be forced to become someone I was not - I put myself there. Now away from it all and able to look back and see everything for what it was, I did deserve it.**

 **Maybe love just isn't meant for me.**

Moving back home wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure my parents were ticked, but I did offer to buy the groceries as a way to help out, which only eased their irritation so much. I still don't understand why they weren't sympathetic to my situation. I swear for a solid month all I heard was that every bit of it was my fault and I should see if Kaito would take me back. What kind of parents push their daughter towards a man who actually hit her?

"It's your fault, Miku. You're too mean."

I finished drying my face with a towel before I shot a dirty glare at the younger girl standing by the bathroom doorway. "Don't you have to get ready for school, Teto?" I spat.

The sixteen-year-old demon I had the unfortunate luck of calling my sister twisted a strand of her red hair around a finger as if she couldn't be bothered to look me in the eyes. "Nah, I'm already dressed, and the bus won't be here for another fifteen minutes."

"So you decided to spend your spare time watching me?"

"I ain't got nothing better to do," Teto said, and I grumbled as I finished moisturizing my face.

It was the first day back to college after a month long winter break. The last couple weeks of the last semester were extremely awkward since I had half my classes with my ex-boyfriend, Kaito Shion, but fortunately I wouldn't have to spend that new semester crossing paths with that jackass as he changed his major yet again. After everything, I would be okay with never having to see him once more for as long as I lived.

"You're gonna grow old alone," Teto said, following me as I marched to my room. "You're gonna be the old maid of the three of us."

"Why do you say that?" I didn't really care to know, but Teto tends to grow bored of me quicker when I make her talk.

"Lily's already married, and Rook and I've been together for two years now." Teto snorts. "Then there's you, the girl who can't keep a guy for at least a year. It was so nice of Kyoteru to hook you up with one of his friends, an older guy with wealthy parents and a bright future, and you had to go and ruin it."

"Kaito cheated on me with some blonde ditz," I argued as I stripped off my pajamas and searched for a decent outfit. "I swear the girl had to be fourteen. Should've called the police and told them my ex-boyfriend was sleeping with a minor."

"Was she really fourteen, and do you know for a fact that they were having sex?" Teto raised an eyebrow, challenging me.

I growled, unable to answer for certain. Teto smirked as I slipped on a pair of skinny jeans. "He cheated on me, belittled me, and even hit me." Eyes locked with Teto's, I asked, "Why do you or our parents want me back with him?"

Shrugging, Teto answered, "Maybe we don't want you to be alone."

"Don't I at least deserve to be with someone who makes me happy and treats me right?"

"Ha!" Teto picked her backpack up from its place by her feet as she said, "At the rate you're going, you should learn to accept that beggars can't be chooser."

Fists clenched, I glared at Teto's retreating figure as I grumbled, "Who said I was begging?"

* * *

 **There's the beautiful eldest daughter, the model.**

 **There's the smart youngest daughter, the honor student.**

 **Then there's the middle daughter, the screw up.**

 **A childhood spent getting into vicious fights, notorious in high school for pulling the worst pranks on anyone who dare wrong her, now starting a college career scaring away any potential life-long friends - no parent would be proud to call that their child. They would rather favor the successful children, pretending that they didn't go wrong with the outlier.**

 **Hey, two out of three isn't so bad.**

Teto may have meant for it to he a cruel joke when she got me _A Single Woman's Guide To Happiness_ for Christmas, but in the end it backfired on her. As I waited for class to start, I engrossed myself in it. I have to say, it's not a bad book. I used my bright pink highlighter to underline some good points, and I was so absorbed I jumped when someone spoke to me.

"Good book?"

After the mini hear attack passed, I looked to my right to see a face I never wanted to see again. Blue eyes, blond hair, a flash of cockiness in an otherwise innocent appearance - except this simultaneously was the wasn't the same face. This wasn't Kaito's secret girlfriend but instead a boy who looked just like her in almost every possible way. And I really do mean _in almost every possible way._

At my lack of response, the boy pointed at my book and said, "I take it you had a bad breakup?"

Pulling the corners of my lips down and pinching my brows together, I snarled, "None of your business."

"Are you all right?" he asked. Of all the people filing into the room, I was the one he chose to talk to. I got the feeling I was going to loathe that class.

"Peachy," I answered. "Now leave me the hell alone."

"I think somebody needs a hug," he said, and the way he said it grinded on my nerves. It wasn't flirtatious, teasing, or anything of the sort - it sounded as if he had a solid idea of what I've recently been through.

"I think somebody's going to lose an arm if they try to touch me," I replied.

For a while it was silent, and I thought he was finally getting the hint. Then he broke the silence between us with, "I'm Len Kagamine."

"I don't care."

From the corner of my eye I saw him open his mouth as if to respond, but fortunately the professor called for our attention and announced that it was time to begin the semester. Class starter, the professor introduced himself, and he took role. Everything was fine until, "Do you have a pencil I can borrow?"

Narrowing my eyes, I stared at the boy and said, "You couldn't be bothered to bring a pencil on the first day?" He shrugged. "Sucks to be you," I spat as I put my extra pencils back into my bag.

I spent the rest of class ignoring my annoying blond neighbor, but I could still feel his eyes on me. Why he was so interested in me, I didn't know. When class dismissed an hour and a half later, I fled the room before he could get the chance to say anything else to me.

* * *

 **If there is no love like that between a parent and child, then why do some mothers scar daughters or fathers damage sons? Why are innocent infants abandoned? Why are precious children beaten without cause?**

 **Can't any strong love exist between two people regardless of the relationship? Please tell me so. The more stressed familiar love is, the more I'm convinced of my inadequacy.**

You know the conversation held at the dinner table is boring when you're more interested in stabbing at your meatloaf and mashed potatoes than partaking in the discussion.

My first week back hadn't been too bad. I enjoyed my classes and loved my professors. My only complaint was that persistent Len Kagamine, who somehow was in every class that I was. I saw him all the time as a result, and the stupid freak wouldn't leave me alone.

For the most part he never mentioned how alone I was. He usually asked questions such as "How are you today?" or "Have you seen this movie?" or "What do you think of this book?" Also being an English major - or so I believed he was at the time - it wasn't hard for him to find topics that interest me. Just earlier that day, I stopped resisting him in favor of discussing _The Iliad_. I hated myself for giving in.

Yet at the same time I was glad he and I talked.

"Isn't that amazing, Miku?"

"Huh?" I furrowed my brows as I looked at my father.

His baby blue eyes - eyes I so badly wished were mine - narrowed as he repeated, "Isn't it amazing how your sister is being offered a scholarship to start college this fall?"

"For what?" I asked. By the way Dad sighed, I knew that I should've just agreed to whatever it was he told me.

"Teto is excelling in her math and science studies," Mom - distinguishable by her pretty lavender hair - answered. "She's being offered the opportunity to dual enroll in order to earn her AS degree by the time she graduates high school so that she can transfer to a big name university immediately after. Her future in marine biology is starting to look set."

Eyes sliding over, I find Teto smirking at me. She doesn't have to bother bragging. Our parents are already doing enough of that for her.

"I'm happy for you," I said, and it wasn't a lie. Our parents were never proud of me, so I had to learn to experience the feeling vicariously through my sisters.

"Why again are you studying English?" Dad asked. "Miku, you already speak it."

"Not to mention the only job you can get with an English degree is teaching," Mom added.

"It's my passion," I answered. I don't know why I bothered to reply: we've had that conversation multiple times.

"Passions don't pay the bills," Dad pointed out.

"Neither does marriage, yet you're pushing me to find someone," I said without thinking. Then I quickly added, "And don't tell me to get back with Kaito. My mind is made up about him, and I'm not changing it. Ever."

"Then I suppose there's somebody else?" Mom mused.

Spring blue eyes flashed in my mind followed by a warm smile. I scowled at the thought. "No," I forced out.

Fortunately, she didn't press it. Teto was the one to speak, and I loved her so much for at least not talking about boys. "Do you want to be an English teacher?"

Shrugging and poking at the slab or meat in front of me, I said "An English professor, maybe. Or a junior high literature teacher, realistically speaking."

"Why?"

"I get to study something I love, plus I know from the time I helped Lily with that preteen pageant I enjoy working with students. I think it suits me."

For how annoying she is, Teto doesn't press on in any negative way. I don't know if she has some respect for me as her older sister or what. All I know is my parents heard from my mouth that I'm not wasting my time with my studies.

Just imagine how much time I was saving by staying single.

* * *

 **I don't need anyone to pay attention to me. I'll pay attention to myself. Nobody's approval is needed save for my own. Nobody needs to accept me as I will always readily accept myself. I'm the one who spends the most time with me anyway, so I might as well be someone I like.**

 **Truly, I'm fine on my own.**

Sitting by myself under the gazebo in the courtyard, I read my book while eating baby carrots as I waited for my next class. Buildings wrapped around the area, caging me in. The sky was cloudy and dark, and the air was so cold you could feel frost forming on your skin. As a result, the courtyard was completely empty, and that was how I wanted it.

Then my new best friend decided to ruin the serenity I felt.

"Go away, Len," I said without taking my eyes off the page. I didn't have to look to know that he was there; strange as it was, I could feel his presence.

Anyway, this had been going on for about a month at that point. Strangely he could find me even when we weren't in class, and he made it his job to bother me every time I was in sight. I was annoyed that he was so persistent, but at the same time . . . it felt nice to imagine that someone was fighting for me. My fickle heart couldn't decide if I liked his presence or was bothered by it.

"You know I won't," was how he replied to my order. He sat on the bench across from me and asked, "New singles book already?"

"Not to mention I'm wearing my _I Hate Boys_ T-shirt today as well." I closed my book and took off my glasses so that I could rub my eyes. "When are you going to get the hint that I'm not interested in you?"

"Who says that I'm interested in you?" Len asked. "Romantically - or sexually, that is. Maybe I just want to be friends."

"Ha! Likely story," I answered with a snort. "Men want one thing and one thing only, and that's not to be friends with women."

Len pointed his finger at me. "That's sexist. You can't claim to know my intentions based solely on the fact I'm a guy. What if I claimed you wanted to get married because all women want commitment? Where's the justification in that."

"Whatever. I don't have time for this." I put my glasses back on, stood up, and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

"Have you read the reading assignment yet? I know you have a lot of interesting things to say about 'The Birthmark.'"

It's true. I had _plenty_ of thoughts on that short story, but I was not in the mood for conversation. "I really don't want to talk."

Len cocked his head to the side. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Fine," I grumbled. "All I want is to be left alone."

"Nobody wants to be alone."

"I do." I turned and took a few steps to leave the gazebo, but he stopped me.

"Who hurt you so badly that you can't let go?"

Whirling around, I glared at Len. I hated the sight of him so much, but it had nothing to do with his constantly messing with me. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I probably wouldn't have cared so much if he looked differently. It was only whenever I saw him, I didn't see him at all.

It was the girl Kaito cheated on me with looking back at me.

If not for that face, I might have been more inclined to give Len a chance at friendship. Maybe. Who knows?

"Who hurt you so badly that can't let go?" Len repeated, standing now. His eyes had softened, and he made no movement that said he would try to stop me if I chose to leave without a word.

"Everyone," I found myself answering. "I don't know who my dad was, but he had to have been somebody who didn't want to stick around. It makes sense, since my mom abandoned me and all." I looked away. Never had I confessed so much to a person before, yet here I was spilling my heart out to somebody I didn't know, somebody I wanted to tell everything to. "My adopted parents aren't much better, always favoring their other adopted daughters over me. Friends never lasted more than half a year, and boys . . ." I laughed without humor. "Love isn't meant for me."

"Don't say that." Len took two long strides towards me, but he kept a respectful distance. "Love is for everyone."

"Not the unloved," I claimed.

"There's no such thing as unloved." Len bit his lip and looked anywhere but in my eyes. "If you want to give up on romance, that's your business, but don't give up on love altogether. There's always someone to love and to love you."

"You don't know me or what I've been through," I whispered. "You can't love me, and I can't love you."

To my surprise, Len simply said, "You sound just like my sister."

"That girl-" I began, but I was interrupted by something grabbing my arms from behind. "Let go!" I shouted without first analyzing the situation, but such an analysis would've been useless.

Two men were holding Len back as well, keeping him from helping me. I struggled to break free, but my captor was too strong. Same was true for my blond companion. _Where did these people come from?_ I asked myself. The courtyard was literally empty save for Len and me just a few seconds ago; it was as if these men just came out of nowhere.

"You were damn hard to track down," said a rough whisper in my ear. "You don't believe how difficult it was to find not only girls with your name and age, but also the right one." I tried stomping on his foot, but his boots were too thick for my attempt to do any good. "'Find Miku' is a very irritating order to fulfill when that is all you have to work with," continued the speaker, "but we did it at last."

"What do you want from me?" I asked. I didn't really care, but I hoped if he kept talking, I could find the opportunity to free myself.

"Leave her alone!" Len spat at whoever it was holding me back. "What would you want with a human, anyway?"

"Who said that she was human?" was how the person behind me answered. To the other men, "Take the blond one, too. Boss's had his eye on that one for a while now."

"What do you mean?" Len's eyes grew wide, and I could tell his already fair skin was paling.

One of the men holding Len chuckled. "We know that you're no ordinary Love Maker. As a matter of fact, we know that your nasty, rotten sister-"

Whatever he was going to say was lost when Len, filled with rage, freed his arm from the other man and punched the one speaking in the face. Wasting no time, Len threw the first man over and slammed his elbow into the second's nose. Before they could recover, Len ran from them and charged towards me.

He tackled the one holding me back, freeing me from the restraint. "Run!" Len ordered, and I didn't hesitate to obey. I didn't even turn around to make sure he would be all right. I just ran.

However, more men began filling the campus, again seeming to appear out of thin air, and I knew then and there fighting was useless. I stopped running and accepted my fate. If I was really so hard to find, I didn't think it was a stretch to believe that whoever searched for me was going to let me get away so easily.

"Miku!" I snapped my head towards the sound of my name. Len ran up, took my hand, and pulled me along with him. He ran straight towards the oncoming men.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. If Len thought tackling through every single one was going to work, he had another thing coming.

"Something I might live to regret," Len replied, the words half spoken to himself.

We charged towards the wall of muscular men. I screamed as I tried to stop running, but Len was too strong for me. Impact was inevitable.

Then something I couldn't explain happened.

A tear in the space between us and our would-be captors opened and grew. It looked like . . . It looked like a black hole, and Len ran straight towards it. I didn't know what would happen if we entered, but I believed it would be worse than whatever my attacker had in mind.

"Let me go!" I ordered the same time the voice of the man who grabbed me shouted, "Don't let them get away!"

One last time I tried to rip my hand from Len's, and that final time ended failure. My hand did break free from his grasp, but Len immediately responded by wrapping his fingers around my elbow and yanking me those last few feet. We entered the black hole. The world around me became dark. The air surrounded me turned ice cold. It was as if I fell into a sea of nothingness.

I expected to lose consciousness, but I didn't. I existed in the open space, Len holding tightly to my arm. I was too scared to breathe.

"It's okay," Len said, breaking the deafening silence. "I know it doesn't look that way at the moment, but you're safe now."


	2. Part 2

**What good is love when your family forsakes you, your friends abandon you, and the people who promised to never leave your side vanish into thin air? That's right. Nothing.**

 **Love has never done anything for me, so why should I hold onto it?**

Before I could ask what was going on, my face smacked into something solid. My body pressed into the substance, and dust assaulted my nostrils. I could see light through my closed lids. Instead of being suspended in space, the comforting sense of gravity returned.

"Sorry for the mess," I heard Len say. He wrapped his fingers under my arms, hauled me to my feet, and handed my glasses, which must have fell off upon impact, to me. "I wasn't expecting company."

Blinking as my eyes adjusted, I put my glasses back on and tried to take in where I was. A home. I was in a home.

A dusty wooden floor, an old beige couch, a worn coffee table in front of the couch - just a simple living room. The walls were a stained white, and the wallpaper near the ceiling peeled as if in agony. There were a kitchen and dining room separated by nothing but a wall, and one hallway existed on the other side of the layout. There was no mess, save for dust, untrue to Len's words.

"This place is a dump," I told him as I continued to scan the small room. "Everything is old and falling apart."

"A Love Maker's home reflects what's inside his heart," Len replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "If everything's falling apart, it's because I am."

Sliding my eyes towards Len, I looked his slumped figure up and down before demanding, "Where the hell am I?"

Len doesn't look my way. "The Love World."

"What?" I screwed up my face, confused. _Love Maker? Love World? What type of lovey dovey drug is this dude on?_

"Cupid isn't a fat baby going around sticking people with arrows so that they will fall in love with the first person they see." Len sighed before making direct eye contact with me. "There's . . . more to this romance thing than you could ever imagine."

So I stood stone still as Len explained Love Makers to me - what they are and that he's one of them. He then explained their more sinister counterparts, Love Wreckers. Cupids. Anti-cupids. Always born in sets of two - one boy and one girl; one a Love Wrecker and the other a Love Maker. The Love World in which they resided away from humans, where I was currently. None of it made sense. I didn't constantly interrupt him to point out how insane this all sounded. I was too stunned to react, too mentally numb to properly process any of it anyway.

When he finally finished, I shook my head. "You're insane. You slipped me some drug, and now I'm hallucinating. This whole . . . _love_ crap is just some story you made up to mess with me. Well guess what, buddy, I'm not buying it."

"I'm not making this up," Len argued. He had long since slouched onto his sofa, but I remained standing. My feet might as well have been cemented on the floorboards.

"Then why tell me everything if I'm some measly, pathetic human?" I challenged. My fingernails bit my palms. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it, so much so that I couldn't see what was right in front of me.

Narrowing his eyes, Len replied, "If somebody is after you specifically, I think you have the right to know where we're located and what those people after you are."

"I don't want to hear it." I waved my hand as if I could wipe away the conversation. "I'm out of here." I walked towards the door, except there was no door. I searched around, but other than the kitchen, the path to a bedroom, and another to a bathroom, there was no exit of any kind. "How do I leave?" I asked.

"You need to create an opening," Len answered, "something only Love Makers and Love Wreckers can do."

"So you're imprisoning me!" I snapped. My heart pounded in my ears. I had to go somewhere that made sense, but I was trapped.

"I'm trying to protect you!" Len snapped right back, his voice raised significantly. "Ever since your breakup with Kaito-"

"You know about that?!" I demanded, but Len didn't even falter in his stream of dialogue.

"-I've been watching you, trying to find some way to heal you. Then I discovered something, and it doesn't make any sense." Len huffed and ran a hand through his hair. "I've been in many hearts before, and never once have I seen one like yours. It's like you're . . . Never mind. Point is, somebody is after you, and I believe it has to do with your heart."

Without thinking, I placed my hand on top of my chest. "What's wrong with my heart?!"

I expected Len to promise that nothing was wrong and that it was all just a big misunderstanding, but that was not what happened. What Len said was, "You have the most twisted heart I've ever seen. Not like you're secretly evil and want world domination, but in the sense you've been broken. The weirdest part is it's as if you weren't damaged, but that you have just always been that way. It makes no sense."

Filled with rage, I opened my mouth to yell at him, but I was cut off by a voice demanding, "Len Kagamine?! Are you in there?!"

To my surprise, Len swore. "It's my sister," he whispered harshly, as if that's all the explanation I'll ever need. "Hide!"

I tried to argue, but Len was quick to push me into his bedroom and close the door. "Don't say anything. Don't make a single sound. My sister cannot see you, okay?" He didn't give me a chance to respond. He left, and he must have trusted me somewhat if he actually believed that I wasn't going to leave the room or make any noise.

In case you're wondering, I'll tell you now that I didn't betray that trust. It wasn't because I thought I owed it to Len, but that I feared his sister. I knew her voice immediately, and it was one that haunted me.

"Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, her voice clearer now. "You disappeared without a word. Nobody knew where you were!"

My breath caught in my throat. _Len said his sister's name is Rin, didn't he?_ I asked myself.

"I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore," was how Len chose to answer his twin - if Love Makers and Love Wreckers considered themselves to be twins. "I thought you wanted me to stay away from you."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean drop off the face of the planet!" Rin sighed so loudly I could hear it through the unopened door. "Was this some type of test to see if I cared? Because congratu-freaking-lations, Brother! I care about you. Hell, you probably already know now that I lied when I claimed I didn't-"

She stopped abruptly. It was unnerving how she cut herself off like that. Her throat could have been slit mid-sentence, but she merely changed the subject.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me," Rin said. "I know all your tells, so you should think better than to try. Now give me the truth, or I will find it."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Yes, there is."

"No, there isn't," Len persisted. "Look, I decided last minute to spend the month traveling and relaxing. Sorry to worry you and everyone I know, but give me more credit than that. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Sister."

"Now I know you're lying," Rin said, as if she had been waiting to say that. "You aren't a loner, Len: you would never go on a trip without a friend going with you. Secondly, if you did have solitary business that would undoubtedly take a good deal of time, you would have notified someone. You would have notified me."

"You're the one who told me to not talk to you," Len pointed out.

"I didn't think you would pull a stunt like this!" Rin shouted. "Are you upset because I told you that I don't love you? Are you trying to get back at me?"

"I can't believe how selfish you are," Len replied. "None of this is about you, Rin. None of it has anything to do with you. Now why don't you leave me alone like you wanted to?"

"Not until I know what you're hiding."

"It's none of your business."

"You're my brother; everything concerning you is my business."

"Get out, Rin."

"Len, tell me what's the matter."

"You're what's the matter!" I heard a gasp, and it was too high for me to think it was Len's. "I don't know how you can act as if I owe everything to you because of what you did. It was your idea, Rin. Not mine, not ours - just yours. I never should have gone along with it."

"They would have destroyed you," Rin said in what sounded like a hiss.

"Better that than living every day wondering when somebody is going to pounce on me, to whisper in my ear that they know."

"Nobody knows save you and me."

"You say that, but I can tell you don't believe it. You're just as afraid as I am."

"For you!" The pain, the sorrow behind the words made me pity Rin. I don't know why they did.

"See?" Len laughed without humor. "It's behavior like that which will get us caught. You're not acting like a Love Wrecker."

"I'm acting like myself," Rin argued. "I'm not a title. I'm a being with thoughts and feelings. I'm not going always to follow a set of dos and don'ts, you know."

Silence, and then, "Go away, Rin. You're not wanted here."

"Fine!" his sister snapped. "Just remember: two can only keep a secret if one is dead."

"Is that some kind of threat?"

"No, a warning." Rin paused but then continued. "There are rumors, Brother. The Streamers believe they have a weapon that can bring us down. I don't know what they have or what they think they have, but be careful. If they know what we were, we won't be safe. . . . Not even our brethren would try to save us."

When Len spoke, his words were so soft I had to strain to hear them. "I know, Sister. I know."

Everything from there was spoken so softly that I couldn't pick up on it. I took this as an opportunity to examine the bedroom. There was nothing but a bed and nightstand in the dingy room. The only decorating the wall was a painting of a beach during sunset.

It was weird how the landscape of the painting was practically cliché, yet at the same time, the colors and strokes made me feel as if I was seeing a beach for the first time. The pinks and purples of the clouds blended together as if they were meant to be fused as one. The water turned under the setting sun. The sand gave off a vibrant warmth. In the corner of the painting sat two letter. _R. K._

"Miku?" Len walked into the room. When he noticed what I was looking at, he said, "My sister made that for me."

"Rin?" I questioned. He nodded. "It's beautiful."

"Everything Rin paints is beautiful," Len said. "She doesn't show it, but she has a good heart."

"Then why hide me?" I asked. "Would she have really been that upset to see me?"

"As furious as Rin would be for seeing you," Len answered, "it would be nothing compared to the rage you would experience if you saw her." I bit my lip, knowing that Len was right. He let out a deep breath and said, "I can't take you back today: I'm too tired to travel, and I don't trust anyone else to return you safely. We'll just eat dinner, go to bed, and fix everything in the morning." Then he left without giving me a chance to reply.

I didn't think I had anything to say to him, anyway.

* * *

 **Lied to my face. Stabbed in the back. Betrayed for their own sick pleasure.**

 **Is this what it means to have friends? Because if so, then I don't want any. I'm better off alone.**

 **After all, if I'm going to feel lonely, might as well be because I'm alone and not with people who make me feel that way.**

"Don't!" I shouted as I bolted upright, but why did I shout it? Was I begging Kaito not to hit me? My sisters not to start unpleasant rumors about me? . . .

My birth parents to not abandon me?

I held my head in my palms and breathed slowly. _Where am I? How did I get here?_

"You're awake."

 _Oh, now I remember._

"How bad was it?" I asked without looking at Len.

"How bad was what?"

"My yelling in my sleep."

"Pretty bad," Len answered, and I could feel him sitting by my feet on his barely comfortable couch. I had refused to sleep in his bed even when he promised to not enter the room while I was in it. "I was making breakfast when I heard you moaning. You sounded scared so I came to wake you, but you shouted 'Don't!' and woke yourself up before I could say anything."

"I'm embarrassed," I admitted, but I didn't know why I said that. It wasn't as if I cared what Len thought.

"Don't be," Len replied. "I get them, too."

"But you wouldn't have the same nightmares I have," I pointed out and finally removed my hands from my forehead. I found Len staring at me in evident concern. His blue eyes were locked with mine, and his lips were ever so slightly parted. For reasons I couldn't explain, I wanted to lean forward, wrap my arms around him, and bury my face into the crook of his neck.

Now I know I was just desperate to receive comfort from the first person to ever show me that they cared even the littlest bit.

"What type of nightmares do you have?" Len asked, and I instantly knew I didn't want to answer that I didn't know.

"Let's forget about it," I tried. "All I want is to go home."

"You will." Len reached out, wrapped his fingers around my own, and gave them a squeeze. Then his hand was gone before I could protest his touching me - or squeeze his hand back, I didn't know.

Standing, Len walked towards his room and came back half a minute later. In his hands was a snow white dress. "I'm too weak to create another portal," was how he began. "Technically we Love Makers, as well as our Love Wrecker brethren, aren't supposed to teleport ourselves between our world and yours. Now as you already know, we can in the case of an emergency, but it's incredibly draining."

Now that he mentioned it, I noticed how pale Len was compared to just the day before. Not even his eyes were as bright and awake. He looked ill, but for the most part capable of functioning as before.

"What's with the dress?" I asked, pointing at it. "And why are you sporting a matching outfit?"

Len looked down at his white trousers and puffy white shirt. "This is what I normally wear when I leave the house." I furrowed my brows - his attire looked more like pajamas. At the sight of my confused expression, Len elaborated, "Call it the Love World fashion sense. Love Makers wear all-white clothing made from comfortable material. What I'm wearing is something you will see a lot of Love Maker men, and some women, 'sporting'?"

It made sense, or I told myself it did. One would think a species that calls itself "Love Maker" would dress in pink or red or some other color associated with love. "What about Love Wreckers?"

"If you're guessing all black, you guessed correctly," Len answered. "Their clothes are made out of tight, tough material equivalent to leather in your world. It looks extremely uncomfortable, but Rin seems to enjoy the clothes."

I bit my lip as I stared at the dress. "Why do you have girl Love Maker clothes if your sister is a Love Wrecker?"

"Oh, uh." Len avoided eye contact with me. "My partner - ex-partner, I should say - used to spend a lot of time here. To accommodate her almost constant presence, I bought her plenty of dresses so she would have something clean to change into every morning. When she ended our relationship, she insisted I keep the clothes despite my wanting to give them to her. At least today it's finally paid off."

"But why would she leave you?" I asked before I knew the words were out. It took all I had to not slap my palm over my mouth.

I didn't know it was possible for Len to look more uncomfortable. "She, er . . ." Before I could voice to Len that he didn't have to tell me, he blurted out, "She fell in love with another girl. Now here." He threw the dress at me. "The breakfast casserole should be done soon. Bathroom's down the hall. Change and meet me in the kitchen." Then he left without another word.

Frowning, I picked up the dress, which was incredibly soft to the touch, and retreated to the bathroom. The clothes I wore when I was taken to Len's world were drenched in sweat and began to ripen. After I replaced them with the dress, I couldn't help but marvel at the comfort. It felt as if I was walking around completely naked.

It was as Len pulled the casserole out of the oven did I make the scene. "How bad in bed do you have to be to turn a girl lesbian?" was how I chose to start conversation, clearly not thinking through how to start a conversation.

To his credit, Len didn't seem offended. "That's exactly what Rin said," he replied with a chuckle.

"I have a question," I said, changing the subject as I sat at the table while Len set the pan to cool. "So you're basically a Cupid, and you make people fall in love, but what about you? If you had a girlfriend you were intimate with, you to have been in love with her. How does that work? Are there Love Makers for Love Makers?"

"Actually, we can't make you fall in love," Len corrected. He joined me at the table before he continued. "We are incredibly influential, but we can't make any human do something they don't want to do. That desire has to already be there, and even then a human can fight our suggestions. You will love whomever you want regardless of what any Love Maker or Love Wrecker tells you to do."

"Then what's the point?" I asked, my brows pinched together. "Can't humans just fall in love without your help then?"

"Haha, no," Len answered with a smile. "Falling in love isn't exactly the same as making friends, you know. If we're not there to gently push you, if not full on shove you, then you would never put yourself out there."

I played with the hem of the dress as I carefully thought over my next choice of words. In the end, I decided to keep it simple. "And Love Wreckers?"

Without having to ask what I meant, Len replied, "Humans aren't the most loyal of creatures. If a person has lost even the slightest bit of interest in his partner, it won't be any trouble for a Love Wrecker to come in and, well, wreck havoc. You would have to be very strong willed to not let them win."

 _But what about me?_ I wanted to ask. _Am I weak willed because I let a Love Wrecker break me and Kaito up?_ Then it dawned on me. The voice from last night. I knew that voice. I knew I knew that voice. I had the pieces all this time, but I didn't put them together until then. It was as if I was seeing things in a whole new light.

"Rin, y-your sister?" I sucked in a tight breath. "I saw her with Kaito. He was cheating on me with her. She's a Love Wrecker. She broke us up."

"Yes." Len nodded. "She . . . Rin knew that your relationship wasn't a healthy one. Those are the only relationships she targets, actually, but she does have a knack of taking things too far. I apologize for her behavior."

Having no idea how to respond, I shift my attention to the floor and don't say a word. Len doesn't pressure me into another conversation. Instead he walks back to the casserole, fills a bowl for each of us, and brings it back to the table.

We eat in silence.

The food was delicious.

* * *

 **There is no bigger betrayal than your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend. Neither regret it. Neither so much as faked an apology. Both were totally okay hurting me to the point of breaking. They were happy together, and that was all that mattered.**

 **And society says they weren't wrong at all.**

 **The point of a relationship is to be happy. In other words, screw everything. You don't need friends when you find the love of your life. You don't need your family if they so much as carry a minor disapproval of the relationship. You don't need your children from a previous relationship when you find someone else who makes you happier than they ever did. You know what? Damn them. Damn them all to hell. Your happiness is what matters most, and you will never let go of the person who gives you that sense of satisfaction.**

 **If there's one thing I've been taught about love through example, it's exactly that.**

I don't know what I expected when I left Len's home, but it wasn't someplace that looked exactly like earth. With all the talk of "your world" and "my world," I half expected the Love World to look like a place right out of a fairytale. However, I can't say I was disappointed to be proved wrong.

The area looked more like a suburban neighborhood from an eighties movie. Houses of many designs were all lined up nicely in yards that had enough room for friends to play ball games on it without fear of running into the road. Then again, it didn't even look as if running into the road would have been a problem. There wasn't an automobile of any kind in sight.

"We walk everywhere," Len said, answering my unasked question. As we traveled down the path, Len waved at neighbors - wearing the exact type of clothes Len said they would - as they gawked at us. Or more specifically, me. "The Love World isn't like Earth," Len explained. "This place is more like pockets of realities scattered across your world, invisible to your human eyes. We have to use a portal to travel from one Love World to another, but it's quicker than taking an airplane so it's not really a big deal."

"And how big is each individual pocket of reality?" I asked. Already I was seeing the neighborhood come to an end, and we hadn't walked five minutes. It wouldn't be long before we reached the exit.

"Depends on the one you're in," Len answered. "Not that it matters since the set up is always the same: you've been in one Love World, you've been in them all. Think of a circle. In the exact middle of said circle is a pillar. That's the portal we're heading towards right now. It can be used to travel between Love Worlds or even to your world.

"Surrounding this pillar is a town. Think of a market place. Fruits, vegetables, jewellery, clothes, supplies - there's a stand for everything. That would be a small circle within the big circle. Now think of six radii."

I furrowed my brows. "What?"

Snorting, Len said, "Didn't you ever take geometry? Radii, plural for radius, are the distances between the center of the circle and the end of it."

"Okay, I see now. Go on."

"All right, well three of these radii are neighborhoods, like the one we're in."

"More like leaving," I note as we walk past the town's _Good Day!_ sign, showcasing an illustration of a bunch of Love Makers waving at those walking past. The town Len described was in sight now, and the sounds and smells gave me an itch to get closer and explore everything. "And the other three radii?"

"Schools," Len said. "A primary school for children, and then a school for Love Makers and another for Love Wreckers."

"Love Makers and Love Wreckers go to different schools?" I questioned.

"It makes perfect sense," Len stated. "We have different mindsets as well as different needs. It's important that we be trained to embrace what differentiates us from our siblings and live out our life's purpose."

"But what if you don't want to be a Love Maker?" I asked.

Len surprised me with his answer. "That's like saying you don't want to be human."

Not having a response, I changed the subject. "You didn't answer my question earlier. About Love Makers falling in love? How are you guys separate from humans to not need influences?"

Len held up a finger, signaling that I wait a minute, as we entered the crowd. People dressed in white and people in black surrounded us. Few ignored us, but most greeted Len. He returned the greeting, and that was that. Nobody paid me any mind, except one person had to come around and interrupt our smooth trip to the portal.

"Hey, Len! I haven't seen you in ages. Where've ya been?" said a man with shaggy hair. He smiled so brightly that even without his white clothes, I would know what he is.

With the man blocking our path, Len was forced to put a smile on his face and reply, "I had some business to attend to. Sorry for disappearing on you."

The man must have the attention span of a puppy, because the moment he noticed me his focus completely shifted. "And who's this beautiful girl?"

I almost snarled at him when Len cut in with, "This is Miku, a friend I made on my trip. She wanted to visit for a couple days, and now I'm taking her home."

Going along with the act, I said, "I'm dreadfully exhausted, and I want to be back in my own bed."

By the way the man's eyes grew as his eyebrows rose, I knew he interpreted my comment as something other than what I meant. "I didn't know you got over Gumi," he told Len. "You haven't been in a serious relationship with anyone but her. I'm proud of you for finally moving on, especially since she really hurt you when she left."

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Len clenching his fist. His knuckles turned chalk white, and for reasons I couldn't explain, I wanted to reach out and take his hand. I wanted his fingers wrapped around mine as I squeezed away the hurt and shame. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't know why.

"Better to have loved and lost than to never love at all," Len said, but I could tell the words were forced.

Before another word could be said, gunshots echoed throughout the marketplace. All at once people became to scream and flee. The whites scattered in panic, but most of the blacks looked excited for a brawl. Only there wasn't a brawl: it was a target practice, and Len and I were said targets.

"Look out!" the man shouted, tackling Len and me to the ground. When the pain from the back of my head hitting the concrete faded and the stars stopped dancing in front of my eyes, I pushed the man away to sit upright. Where the three of us stood was a large arrow dug deep into the ground.

"They found us!" Len hissed as he pushed his friend off and jumped to his feet. He yanked me up as well and dragged me along with him as he ran.

That day wasn't exactly off to a great start.


	3. Part 3

**It's a terrible experience to feel as if you are empty on the inside, as if you're going to cave in on yourself at any moment. The loneliness, the hopelessness . . . Is there any way to be free from it? Or is it something I'm forced to endure?**

We blended into the crowd, and I felt so many forms of relief that whoever attacked us wasn't shooting another arrow when there were so many innocent people in the way. Blacks and whites mixed into gray we passed by them so fast, the color of each individual's hair - ranging from brown to blonde to red to purple - blended together, forming the most disorganized rainbow I've ever seen. Screams and yells rang in my ears, my heart pounded in my throat, and sweat began trickling down my face and neck. We were running really fast, and there was still more distance to be covered.

"You're not getting away again," the same man from before said.

I must have been too frightful to fully notice him during our previous encounter, for I found nothing about his silver hair and mismatched eyes familiar. However, I knew his voice instantly. The way he whispered in my ear . . . I shuddered just thinking about it.

Len swore, and I looked around to find that we were again surrounded. They were all dressed in black: Love Wreckers. All of them held either knives, guns, or a bows with notched arrows. _Crap._ That was all I could think. There was no escaping that time.

Beckoning us forward, the man said, "Come, and we won't hurt you. We only want to . . . ask some questions."

"Like hell you do," Len growled, making me jump. Len's so sweet and caring that you wouldn't believe how when he sounded vicious like that. It was as if such was more natural for him. It shouldn't have suit him, but yet it did.

The man narrowed his eyes. "You can come the easy way, or you can come the hard way. Look around you: there's no way you stand a chance against us. The outcome is inevitable. Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be."

"Let us go," I whispered, not knowing why I did it.

Clearly having heard what I said, the man laughed and replied, "No way, Miku Hatsune. We have spent years tracking you down. Do you really think any of us would throw all that effort away just because you asked for us to let you go?"

"But why do you want me?" I asked. "What good am I to you?"

To my surprise, the man answered. "You're a lot of good to me. You're a lot of good for our organization. So much of it is built on you." Shifting his gaze towards Len, the man added, "So much of it was built on him as well."

I sensed Len stiffen. None of it made sense. We were confused. Or at least I was. However, of all the things to think about, how we were going to escape was the most important.

Letting go of everything, I let myself slip away and allowed the beast to awaken. A monster slept within me - it was the reason I was so unlovable. Of course I kept this creature on a leash for fear of what Len would think. None of my actions were a conscious effort. Everything I did felt as if I had been doing it my whole life. It was practically nature.

"Please try to find the real me in the space between the truth and the lies," I said, my words spoken with authority. "Please try to find the real me in the space between the truth and the lies. Please try to find the real me in the space between the truth and the lies."

Though none of it made sense to me, I knew I was accomplishing what I intended to do. The Love Wreckers all froze in place. They weren't exactly petrified by my words, but something about what I said forced them to forget what they were supposed to be doing.

"Dammit," the man swore, too stunned from what I kept repeating. "She hasn't been bound. Her abilities can't be controlled."

"Please try to find the real me in the space between the truth and the lies!" I shouted, my voice raising each time I said the line. "Please try to find the real me in the space between the truth and the lies!"

Everyone was dropping their weapons and falling to their knees. Even the silver-haired man was quaking where he stood. I said the words with as much force as I could muster. I wanted to break them. I wanted them to be torn apart and to experience the pain and emptiness I knew so well. I wanted them so utterly, hopelessly broken that they could never be whole again.

Is that so wrong?

Something grabbed my arm, and I flinched, stopping my chant. "Run now, before they recover," Len advised. I didn't hesitate to obey.

I ran as fast as my already tired legs would carry me. I felt drained by what I just did, yet still more strength had to be gathered within me. It was almost too much. Almost.

"We don't have time to set it!" Len yelled, his voice right behind me. "Just jump in!"

Though using a portal when I don't know where it'll take me seems like a bad idea, staying with the Love Wreckers after us would have been worse. I saw the pillar, but instead of edges made of wood or stone, they were the same black void Len used when he opened a portal with his own power. Not thinking, I jumped into it. Again I experienced the same weightless feeling as the day before, and again I crashed into the ground.

Drained, I lied on the moist earth. My fingers shook, and my jaw trembled. Every vein in my body buzzed, and I enjoyed it. I was tired and ready to let everything go, but I couldn't help but take pleasure in the adrenaline. It felt . . . too amazing for words.

"I knew it."

The words were enough to drag me out of my little world and turn my attention towards my companion. I had to bite back a gasp when I saw Len. His face was red and splotchy. Tears stained his cheeks. In that moment, he looked so broken.

"What did I do to you?" I got the words out in a forced breath. "What did I do to them?"

"You influenced us." Len pushed himself off the ground and sat upright. I mirror his movements. "You influenced us," he repeated, "and made them - made me - question everything. That's what they teach us when we're young, to not question anything. Especially our own self."

"I . . . I made them question themselves?" I asked in a forced breath. You don't know how surreal it was to live through all of it. So much of me believed that at any moment, I would wake up to find all of what I was experiencing to be a dream. Or a nightmare, depending on how you view it.

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Len answered, "Sometimes we get so mixed up in what's the truth and what's a lie, we lose sight of who we are. Love People aren't as strong as humans in that department. Humans aren't afraid to find the answer; they will make one up if necessary. Love Makers and Love Wreckers, on the other hand, can't handle it. We grow up being told what we are and what we do. You just don't question it."

"No wonder your kind don't have dreams for their lives," I whispered. "Isn't there any freedom in the way you live your life?"

Despite the pain and hurt still evident on his face, Len cracked a smile and said, "No, but Rin and I still broke the rules."

* * *

 **Break my heart.**

 **Go on, break it.**

 **Everyone else has, so what's one more?**

 **I have been mistreated, cheated, and abused.**

 **You can shatter my heart all you want, but I won't feel a thing.**

 **I'm numb to the pain.**

Swearing, I looked between Len and the ATM as I saw the massive stack of cash emerge from the machine. "How on earth do you have so much money?" I asked.

"Easy, it's not mine," Len answered. "Love Makers and Love Wreckers alike are able to access this bank account in case we ever need cash, be it to help us with our work or just to get a cheeseburger."

"So they just let you take money whenever you please?"

"As long as we stay within our allowance." Len pocketed the cash. "I don't take on my physical form much, resulting in my not needing money as often. Consequently, I have a slightly larger amount I'm allowed to have than most."

I raised an eyebrow. "Physical form?"

"Somehow, I keep forgetting there's a lot you don't know." Len took a deep breath. "Tell me, what do you want to know? Please order it from most important to least."

Frozen, I tried to figure out my list. So, so many questions, and I didn't know how much time I would have left with Len to figure it all out. "What am I?" I finally asked. "How was I able to influence those Love Wreckers?"

With a sigh, Len leaned against the wall and answered, "I don't know for certain, but I think you might be a Streamer."

My brows pinched together. "A what?"

"A Streamer. Usually half human and half Love Wrecker, but it is possible for one to be half human and half Love Maker."

Len didn't look me in the eyes, nor did I make eye contact with him. "Streamers . . . I heard Rin mention them to you yesterday." I chewed on my lower lip. "Can Streamers do what I did?"

"Most can't." He kicked at the concrete floor.

"Rin also mentioned that the Streamers claim that they have a weapon?" I knew I was treading down a dark path, but I couldn't stop myself. Why couldn't I stop myself from continuing? "What if I'm the weapon they're talking about? What if the Streamers and Love Wreckers alike are after me? You heard the man say that they've been looking for me for years. If I'm capable of doing what I did-"

"Don't worry, you will be all right," Len said, interrupting me. "I won't let them touch you, and as for your being their weapon . . . I honestly don't know. It doesn't make sense: even if you have abilities, you shouldn't be so powerful to influence Love Wreckers."

Instead of responding, I stared at my hands as if they held the answers we were looking for. I curled and uncurled my fingers, flexing them so that even the tips felt the stretching sensation. How many times I repeated the action, I don't know. What I do know is I stopped the moment long, gentle fingers wrapped around my own.

"To answer your question from before," Len began, "Love Makers do need the encouragement of friends and relatives in order to put themselves out there for romantic love. So technically yes, Love Makers do need their own personal Love Makers." I opened my mouth, but Len interrupted with, "Love Wreckers don't waste their time with love, but that doesn't stop them from screwing each other whenever the desire needs to be met."

"So basically, at your very core, you're no different from humans." I don't know how I said that with confidence, but I did.

Len shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose you're right, but there still are differences. For one, we don't marry."

A single one of my eyebrows shot upwards. "You don't?"

"No need to. Love Makers aren't as fickle as humans, and they usually don't have ex-partners. For the most part, we mate for life."

I bit on my lip, taking in the information. So much of me wanting to ask why his ex-partner left him, but I knew that would be the wrong thing to ask. Instead I went with, "And you're always born in sets of two? Without fail?"

"Without fail," Len confirmed. "I guess you can say it makes up for the fact conception is rare. In the particular Love World where I grew up, there were only six other Love Makers in my whole year."

"And the physical form thing?" I asked.

Len squeezed my fingers before letting go. "In the human world," he answered, "we can walk around freely in their physical world or hang out within a human's heart. The latter we can only do in our heart form, but we can hang out with humans in either form."

The answer didn't leave me satisfied. "Which is your true form?"

Chuckling, Len said, "I think you would know, given that you're a physical being who entered the Love World."

"That doesn't mean that your physical form is your true form," I pointed out.

With how quickly Len's eyebrows shot up, I'm amazed they didn't fly off his head. "Good thinking. If we're being technical, the physical form is our true form in the Love World - we can't take our other form there, anyway - but in the human world, it's more natural to be unseen."

When I didn't reply, Len asked, "Have I quenched your curiosity?"

"Of the Love People, yes," I answered. "However, there's so much more I want to know."

"Later," Len promised. "Right now, we need to focus on getting you home."

So much of me wanted to argue, to demand he tell me everything I wanted to know, but I don't know why. Pushing the desire down, I agreed with Len and followed him as he went to hail a taxi.

* * *

 **I yelled for comfort from my brokenness. Nothing came.**

 **I cried out for relief of the intense loneliness I felt. None came.**

 **I shout out for somebody to save me from myself. Nobody came.**

 **If anyone asks me why I don't believe in love, that will be my answer each and every time.**

It had been ten minutes since we began traveling in our taxi. As our driver was not one for conversation, nor did Len and I have anything pressing to say to each other, we rode in silence. I wanted to talk, though. I wanted to hear Len's voice, but I couldn't think of any excuse reasonable enough to get him to talk.

Five agonizing minutes later, Len broke the silence with, "According to legend, if you see somebody in your dreams, it's because they want to see you."

"Oh?" It was all I could think to say. How else was I supposed to reply to that?

"I don't believe it, though," Len continued. "As magical as dreams may be, they aren't exactly magic."

"They would you see somebody in your dreams?" I asked. Not much of me cared for the topic, but I wanted to hear his voice so badly that I would say anything it took to keep him talking.

"Subconscious," Len answered. "You would have to want to see them for them to appear in your dreams."

"Not everyone." I shuddered. So many faces, all taunting me, mocking me for my unlovable characteristics. I didn't want to see them, let alone dream about them.

"Okay, maybe not everyone," Len said, "but concerning those whom you don't dread, I think you would have to want to be with them pretty badly if they appear in your dreams every night."

I rested my elbows on my knees and my chin on my hands. "Do you mean 'you' as in me personally or 'you' as in a general sense?"

"'You' as in 'me.'"

Surprised by Len's honesty, I blinked. "Whom do you want to see so badly that you dream about this person every night?"

"I don't know," Len said, "but whoever she is, she clearly doesn't want to see me. I swear she runs away from me every time as if I'm some monster threatening to destroy all she has."

"Ah, so a girl," I mused. Pulling off my best lazy smile, I said, "Maybe she's afraid you'll turn her gay, too."

Len snorted. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that."

"Is that doing me a favor?"

"Given how were going sixty-five miles an hour on a highway and it wouldn't take much effort on my part to push you out of this taxi, yeah."

"Try it, buddy, and you'll be the one landing face first into the asphalt."

"Ha! If I'm going down, you're going down with me."

Our taxi driver warned us that if we try anything, he's not responsible. Laughing, Len and I both assured him that we wouldn't do anything to each other while in his vehicle. After he grunted, the taxi driver went back to practically ignoring us.

Unable to contain the bubbly sensation, Len and I stared at each other and laughed some more. He looked so beautiful with his golden hair and warm, spring blue eyes. The way the corners of his lips stretch out when he smiles will definitely form some heavy wrinkles as he ages, but the twinkle in eyes told me that Len wouldn't care the slightest bit as the creased skin would be proof of a life spent in laughter. Worse yet, he was as sweet as he was beautiful. He didn't know me, yet he went so far out of his way to protect me. I couldn't understand it.

We continued to stare at each other, taking our companion in. We were still unable to contain our giggles. Things between Len and me had never been lighter. Even his eyes were laughing. Len smiled so brightly, so sweetly, that I dreaded the moment I would never see it again.

Pulling the corners of my lips to a frown, I stated, "I hate you."

Len's mouth followed mine as his eyebrows furrowed. "Still? Why?"

"Because . . . Because . . ." I took a deep breath. "You could easily be the best friend I ever had if we continued to have a relationship after this," I began, "but I don't think I could be friends with you." Without giving Len the chance to ask what I meant, I confessed, "I could so easily fall in love with you if I let myself. It would be so simple to let it all go and allow myself to fall. You're so sweet, charming, and kind. Hell, you've been protecting me all this time. Why are you protecting me?"

For what seemed like hours, all was silent. Len didn't speak, choosing instead to dwell within himself as he sorted out his answer. Finally, "I just feel so guilty that I somehow managed to convince myself that if I could keep you safe, it would make up for what I've done to Rin."

Not knowing why, I felt incredibly disappointed that Len was protecting me because of his sister. I don't know, maybe I wanted to hear him say that there was something about me he wanted to protect. This . . . this hurt more than I'm willing to admit.

"What did you do to Rin?" I asked. Despite my hurt, I wanted to know what she had to do with any of this.

"I let her sacrifice everything for me," Len answered. "We did something that never, ever should be done. I allowed Rin to suffer so much for my sake. Every damn day she has to bear this soul crushing weight she never should have been forced to carry, and yet here I am doing nothing about it. Those who know us may claim that Rin is egocentric, but I'm the real selfish one. I'm the one letting my only sibling carry such a burden. She shouldn't be in the position she's in, but I let her have it. All because I wanted to save my own ass. What kind of a brother am I to let my compassionate sister do such a thing?"

Confusion flooded me, and I knew Len could see it in the way I opened my mouth slightly and pulled down my brows. If Rin is so compassionate, why did she break Kaito and me up in such a horrid way? And Len, selfish? In the small amount of time I've known him, Len never so much as gave the impression he knew how to be such a thing.

"She's broken," Len said slowly, as if he regretted the words as he spoke them. "To you Rin may be a monster who enjoyed every second of her pushing you towards your limit, but you don't understand what she's been through. Of course none of it excuses her actions, and I can't blame you for not having it within your heart to ever forgive her, but do believe me when I say that she has a good heart deep down. If you could see what I saw, you would understand that she really is a far better person than I'll ever be."

Not knowing what to say, I reached out and took Len's hand. I gave it a slight squeeze, and he returned the action. Daring myself to go further, I leaned to the side and rested my head on Len's shoulder. He didn't reproach me. I stayed in that position for hours after that, fully aware of our physical contact even after I fell asleep.

* * *

I awoke in the same position of which I fell asleep. We stopped at a diner, and after Len paid our driver a generous sum, we went inside to eat. It wasn't until the scent of pancakes, bacon, and eggs hit me did the gnawing in my stomach alerted me of how hungry I was.

For the most part, Len and I were silent. He said nothing about what I did and said yesterday, and he didn't mention it, either. I hated how foolish I had been. Of course it would be so easy for me to fall in love with Len if I let myself: He was a Love Maker, a kind and generous being whose whole purpose in life was to make others happy. He's caring, warm, and gentle - something I never knew I craved with every fiber of my being until I meat him. All my life I dated whichever guy who showed any interest in me, but now I understand the type of guy I truly wanted.

And he could never love me.

I'm a mess. A broken, spiteful mess. I'm too damaged to ever be loved. Too damaged to ever let anyone love me. Rin was right when she spoke in my heart all those weeks ago: I don't love myself like I should. The worst part is, I don't want to.

"Miku." I looked up to find Len staring at me, his brows furrowed as he studied my face. "Why are you crying?"

"Sorry," I apologized, wiping my eyes. I looked at my pancakes, then looked away. I had completely lost my appetite. "Len, can Streamers have kids?"

I didn't know it was possible for Len's eyebrows to pinch together even more. His plate of eggs was left forgotten. "What?"

"I've been thinking," I said quickly. "When horses and donkeys mate, the offspring is a mule. Well, aren't Streamers the people equivalent of mules?"

"Um, I guess so." Len leaned forward. "Miku, what is this about?"

"Can Streamers have kids?" I repeated. "If I'm practically a mule, does that mean I'm sterile?"

"Miku, please."

"Answer the damn question, Len."

Sighing in defeat, Len said, "Yes, Streamers are sterile. By why are you bringing this up all of a sudden?"

"I have the right to know," I snapped. "Nobody loves me, or if they do they have a crappy way of showing it. Now I realize I can't even have a child who would love me no matter what. I'm not meant to be loved, apparently. I'm done with it; I'm done with love. Screw everything that has to do with love." Realizing that last sentence could be considered an insult, I quickly added, "No offense."

"Don't say that," Len said. "You can't give up on love because of the way you have been treated your whole life. Nobody's perfect, and we all let down the people we care about most. I know it's easier to take the self-pitying route and sulk, but it's never right. You are loved, even if the people around you aren't good at showing it. So don't give up on love. Hold out, and love others just as you want to be loved. I can't guarantee that it's easy, but the results will be worth it."

I stabbed at my pancakes and pounder Len's words. He was right, damn him. If I spent all this time feeling sorry for myself, I was never going to be happy.

"I won't give up love for you." The words were out of my mouth before I realized that I had spoken them. I froze, fork midair. Len went stone still. God knows how he was interpreting what was said when I myself didn't know what I meant.

Either to my saving relief or aching disappointment - I'm not sure which - a gunshot vibrated through the tiny diner. Patrons screamed just as the waitresses behind the counter ducked under it. Even without looking, I knew who was there. We must have been easy to track if we were discovered so quickly.

"Come with us," the silver-haired man ordered for the third day straight, sounding tired and frustrated as the sound of his footsteps growing louder with every step be took towards us, "and nobody gets hurt."

"Fine," I said, sounding more confident than I felt.

I stood and Len followed. It was only three men and their leader. A manageable odd. However, before I could let my newfound ability take over, I was gagged. I tried to claw the gag off of me, but my attempt was futile.

"No more influencing," was all the man said as he and his men lead Len and me at gunpoint.

The people inside the diner watched us with intense worry through the window. A waitress was on the phone, her eyes drifting our way again and again despite her efforts to look away. It didn't matter whom she called; I knew then and there that no police force would be able to help us.

"I know why you would want me," Len began, his words desperate, "but why her? Take me. I'm the one you want. Leave her alone. She's just a Streamer-"

"Ha!" Silver-haired guy barked on that laugh. "Believe me, Kagamine, you just wish she was a Streamer."

We rounded the corner. No longer were we in sight of the people in the diner. Len and I were on our own.

It was then I felt something flare up inside of me. A fire, one I had kept hidden under a basket. One I had tried time and time again to put out. Another reason I could not be loved. The one thing that truly defined me, no matter how much I wish it didn't. I could let it go. I could fight with claws and teeth, but then even Len wouldn't want anything to do with me.

 _"Nothing is holding you back."_ I heard the whisper from the deepest realms of my memory. Rin. _"Well, nothing but your own self."_

She was right - then and at that moment Rin was absolutely right. Maybe who I truly am will be somebody even Len can't love, but how could he or anyone else ever love me if they never know the real me? It was a gamble, but the risks were worth taking.

Holding nothing back, I let myself be consumed by red. Rage, hatred, the thirst to destroy - I embraced all of these as if they were old friends. Nothing in me is good; I am all chaos and destruction.

Quicker than I had ever moved before, I reached out and snatched the gun from the Love Wrecker closest to me. I shot him in the leg, and while he doubled over to clutch the wound, I kicked him in the face. Next were the men beside Len: they were shot in the shoulders.

As much as I wanted to, I didn't have it in me to actually kill them.

Len snatched his opportunity to disarm the men. He jumped to my side, and we glared at the silver-haired man. The gun I stole was pointed at the leader while the ones Len possessed were trained on the other men. I wondered how he liked this change of events.

"Impressive," the man simply stated, "but pointless."

In a daring moment, I glanced to the side to see the Love Wreckers I shot standing upright, wounds healed. No, there were never wounds. It was then I realized it didn't matter where I shot them because these bullets were less than paintballs to them - enough to stun, but never enough to severely injure.

My lips began to shape a swear, but then a felt a sharp pain in my chest. Along with it was the ringing of a pistol. I returned my attention to the leader. While I was discovering our biggest disadvantage, this man shot me in the heart.

"MIKU!" I heard Len cry as I fell to my knees.

Like a wild animal, I fought Len off when he tried to come near me. I would have snarled and snapped if not for the gag as my hands protected my wound. Growling in my throat, I pressed into my chest to hide the bleeding.

Only there was no bleeding.

At the registration of no warm and sticky liquid pouring out of my chest, I slowly removed my hands. Despite the dread at what I would find, I looked down at myself. I inwardly gasped at what I saw.

Nothing.

"No," Len whispered from besides me. "You can't be-"

"Interesting." Len and I both stopped our train of thoughts and turned our attention to the man. Then he did something neither of us anticipated: he shot me three more times, one of those shots aimed at my head.

There was intense pain, but it was over in a second. There was no blood. Not even a scratch. The bullets just . . . bounced off of me. I could see them lying next to my knees.

"Now I know we have the right Miku," was all the silver-haired man said as he put his pistol back in its holster. Then, "Bind her, and use electrical shocks if she resists. Now that we know she can survive it, don't hold yourself back."

I tried to fight, but I quickly learned that such was a mistake. Unlike the bullets, the electrical shock - produced by a glowstick-like object - bit and scratched from inside my veins. If not for the gag, I would have screamed. That . . . That was real pain.

Collapsing to my knees for a second time, I focused so much on breathing that I didn't know my hands were being tied behind my back before I was hauled back to my feet. Tears built up in my eyes. Like a child trying to not get caught red-handed, I put my inner fire back under the covers.

"Stupid girl," the man snorted. "You don't need to breathe."

Len, who too was bound, shouted, "When I get my hands on you, I'm going to tear you limb from limb."

The man smirked. "No, you won't. Not unless you want us to get your pretty, darling sister involved."

Color drained from Len's face. "You leave Rin out of this."

"Why would you want that?" The man chuckled. "Is it not your precious sister's fault that you're here?" Without giving Len a chance to reply, he ordered, "Take them away."

I didn't fight. I didn't resist. I knew it was pointless.

I just gave up.

* * *

Taking a shaky breath, Miku steels herself and adds, "That was the day I died."

"Don't be so dramatic, Ms. Hatsune," says the brunet interviewer sitting on the other side of the desk. As with his first interviewee, he keeps the room dark save for a single lit lamp.

"Of course you wouldn't understand," Miku replies. "Everything I ever was and could ever be died that day, and your people did nothing to stop it. You created Len and me, and you left us to suffer in such cruel hands."

"Our intention was to never harm you, Ms. Hatsune," the interviewer insists. "Or Mr. and Ms. Kagamine. We merely wanted to observe you, not rehabilitate you."

"Yet you let us suffer for the sake of your own study." Miku shakes her head. "What have you discovered now that I've been trained in the ways of my kind? That nature is more powerful than nurture? That you can drown the fire all you want, but it will always lick up the water as it continues to burn?"

"I remind you to be careful, Ms. Hatsune," the brunet warns. "Remember, your and your friends' lives depend on what it is, exactly, that happened these past few months, in your own words. Your government wants you dead, and it's up to me and my fellow Streamers to have the final say."

"Funny, given that this is all your fault." Exhaling, Miku stands upright and begins to walk away. "I'm done now. Call your next victim in."

Shuffling his paperwork, the interviewer mumbles, "At least you were more polite than Ms. Kagamine."

Miku doesn't know if she was meant to hear that or not, but she responds anyway. Barking a laugh without humor, Miku says, "Careful, I'm more than capable of making Rin Kagamine seem like a sensitive, selfless girl."

"And what are you implying?" the brunet asks without looked Miku's way.

Smirk worn on her face, Miku answers, "If a girl who isn't a even proper Love Wrecker can irritate the hell out of you without even trying, imagine what a real Love Wrecker is actually capable of."

 **End of Book II**

 **of**

 **The Love Vanishing Diaries**


End file.
